It’s Always Both

My kids have been sick for 5 days. Fever. Vomit. Head aches.

And it’s been a beautiful reminder that life is always ‘both.’

My sick babies want to be snuggled constantly. “Don’t leave, mama!!” they cry, as I try to sneak out of their bedroom and open my laptop.

“Mom, I need you! Where are you!?” They repeat, as I deliver fresh ice water or a snuggle to their sibling.

I don’t relish my kids being sick.

AND… I also don’t mind.

They won’t want to snuggle me like this forever. One day, they may not want want my kisses. Not want me to play criss cross apple sauce on their back to soothe them to sleep. Not want me to sleep in their bed. All of these little moments will fade.

I don’t want them to be sick. AND I cherish the time. It’s both.

I’ve started to realize that everything is like that. Very little is truly black or white.

Like…When I managed a research centre. I used to crave a very clear strategy that our team could create and then follow - like a magical, linear road map. My boss always told me, “Chelsea, we need to be organic. We need to be able to pivot and change.” The truth was, we needed both. We needed a clear goals AND the flexibility to pivot our approaches.

Or… Every time EVER that I’ve gotten in a fight. No matter what that person said or did, I usually had a role in creating the situation, too. Maybe I didn’t share my needs. Maybe I was passive aggressive. Maybe I lost my temper and said hurtful things, too. AND, if I’m honest with myself, I usually had a role in the conflict, too. It was both.

Or… there’s the things my clients experience. I spoke with a woman today. She was leaving her job. She was so excited about her new job, but also scared that her current boss would interpret her quitting as evidence she was ungrateful. She wasn’t seeing that it could be BOTH. She could be and show her excitement for her new job. AND be and show her genuine appreciation for her boss, her co-workers, and all she had learned. There was plenty of room for both.

Somehow, there’s so much peace in simply allowing life to be both.